Honest Trailer: Star Wars The Force Unleashed
by WraithTemplar
Summary: This is an honest trailer I've always wanted to do. Enjoy, and happy New Year!


**All content shown in this work is the property of their respective owners. Enjoy, and have a happy New Year! :)**

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From LucasArts, the company that made your Star Wars dreams a reality, comes the video game series that had fans and newcomers alike saying, "Holy (bleep). If this isn't a Star Wars game, then I don't know what is!"

Star Wars: The Force Unleashed…and its so-so sequel. I mean, it's good, but it's got its flaws too, you know. Ugh. I got a bad feeling about this. The backlash, I mean.

Journey back to a time in video gaming where giving fans what they wanted actually worked, and greedy microtransactions were just something to point and laugh at.

Get ready to unleash the Force (no pun indended), and grab the lightsaber of Starkiller, a highly trained secret apprentice to Darth Vader. Guide him through his mission to hunt down the last of the Jedi, and take over the galaxy at his master's side…until a couple attempts to kill him convince him that _maybe_ he's on the wrong side. Experience the struggle of good and evil, as he struggles with the Dark Side, and gradually overcomes that struggle…by carelessly murdering every single person in the same room with him on sight.

You all are blocking the exit, so that means I can do this. (Shows Starkiller casually slaughtering Stormtroopers)

Revel in Starkiller's mastery of Force abilities, which allow him to kick ass in the most brutal ways possible, including:

Stabbing an enemy while he's down (because why the hell not?),

Torturing Stormtroopers with Force Lightning,

Crushing an AT-ST with your bare hands,

And straight up obliterating enemies with a single shockwave. Boy, Darth Vader would be pissed if he found out his apprentice broke the 'No Disintegrations' rule.

Then when the first game's over and done with, dive into the sequel, where double the lightsabers mean double the fun, charging your arms up with lightning sends you into an orgy fit of rage, and you're granted the ability to make Stormtroopers question the meaning of their lives. (Shows Stormtrooper committing suicide under mind trick)

Rejoice in the fact that LucasArts appealed to fans' wishes by bringing Starkiller back, then gawk in confusion as they try to justify it with a bunch of science mumbo-jumbo. (Starkiller: I'm not Starkiller. I…I'm a clone. I was grown in a vat to take his place.) Wait, what?

Guide the secret apprentice wannabe through his quest to reunite with the woman he loves and discover his true identity, complete with cameos from the original Star Wars trilogy (Boba Fett, Yoda), and boss fights that promote new strategies in exchange for the classical saber duels in the first game.

But that's not all. Prepare to groan in agony during the PSP version's not-so historical Historical Missions, which made fans love the beauty of the originals, and grind through the horror of the prequels all over again. And if you're lucky enough to have the Wii version, prepare to have your friendships ruined by both games' PVP arena, and relish as you finally bring that sweet fanfiction dream to life: pitting Luke Skywalker against Galen Marek. Gee, I wonder who would win there.

So gear up, and get ready to cause havoc as a badass that practically everyone in Star Wars wants to rip off (Ahsoka's lightsaber style, Starkiller Base's name, Ezra Bridger's SW Rebels season 3 haircut), and unleash the awesomeness on Darth Vader's army, or if you actually have faith in Disney's plans for Star Wars, patiently wait for Starkiller to appear in Star Wars Rebels…any day now…

Starring:

Luke Wishes He Were This Badass (Starkiller)

Fifty Shades of British Blonde (Juno Eclipse)

Homicidal C-3PO (PROXY)

Jedi Football Coach (Rahm Kota)

Why Won't You Just Die Already?! (Shaak Ti)

Yoda's Stilt-Legged Stunt Double (Kazdan Paratus)

A Bunch of Dead Stormtroopers (Enemies)

A Bunch of Generic Franchise Cameos (Yoda, Boba Fett, Princess Leia)

Emperor Maul Witwer (Emperor Palpatine) and,

Officially the Worst Dad in History (Darth Vader)

Star Wars: Stormtrooper Torture Simulator


End file.
